I am turning 40 this year and have suddenly felt the need to NOT visit the doctor.
Is it fear? Is it the unknown, or is it that so many of my peers have been diagnosed with a life-threatening condition?
I can’t put my feelings into words, but I hope this blog can help me figure out my fears in the end.
When I was younger, I would go to the doctor at the sight of something not feeling right.
Now, I hesitate, wondering if it could be the end of my life, or if life will change for the worse.
Avoidance has become my default these days, and that avoidance feels safe to me.
Lately, for the past two years, I’ve been dealing with health issues. I’ve been to the doctor, but nothing was found. I kept trying and trying, but again, nothing.
Yes, I should have advocated for myself more, but going through constant layoffs while homeschooling and taking care of kids, things can easily get lost.
So I put my health on the back burner.
I thought if things got worse, I’d just go to the emergency room.
Looking back, this was a mistake. I am doing the one thing I’ve always said people shouldn’t do.
Wait until the problem is bigger than it is or even incurable.
But now that I am going through the same thing, I know this is our brain’s way of procrastinating out of fear of the unknown.
Layoffs have added another layer of stress when it comes to seeing a doctor. Health insurance is tied to a job these days, and unless you can dish out thousands of dollars a month, seeing a good doctor without a job can be harder.
If you are like me, you can procrastinate, do what it takes to be healthier these days, or just take that leap and GO TO THE DOCTOR.
Here’s why going to the doctor, especially in your 40s, matters.
Things Start Changing
I feel it, y’all. From my menstrual cycle to my energy to the constant back pain.
My body doesn’t recover like it used to. I was able to run, skate, dance, and feel great the next day.
Now, it is constant pain when I move around, mainly in my lower back.
Small symptoms could now mean something. Like that chest pain or sharp pain in your belly that may come and go. That can be something bigger now.
As scary as it may seem, preventive care matters more than ever.
Early Detection Can Save Your Life
We are so busy in our everyday lives that we put off symptoms that could be something serious. But listening to changes and signs can add years to your life.
Early detection can mean going to your preventive care yearly appointments or going when you feel something isn’t right.
I know how important early detection is, but that doesn’t mean it’s not scary. That is my problem, the “what ifs.”
Our Risk Factors Shift After 40
PERIMENOPAUSE. I had no idea this was a thing, and why didn’t anyone warn me about this?
The changes we go through around this age are jarring. They hit like a ton of bricks. Mood swings, changes in menstruation, and the reality that my childbearing years are coming to an end.
Menopause was the only major factor I’ve heard about when aging. Followed by hysterectomies and hot flashes.
There is also an increased risk of diabetes, high blood pressure, and certain cancers, especially if your family history shows a higher chance of having these issues.
Two years ago, I was diagnosed as prediabetic, and knowing that diabetes runs through my family, I had to make changes immediately. Changing the way I eat and exercising to burn extra calories helped in a huge way.
Listen to Your Gut
At this age, many doctors may think you are too young to go through the “changes” we are all warned about.
Go with your gut and always get a second opinion.
We are seeing a rise in cancers and ailments in our generation, so it’s important to advocate for yourself when you are not happy with a diagnosis.
Here’s a list of questions to take with you to your next doctor’s appointment cover your basis:
- Get your baseline labs (cholesterol, blood sugar, thyroid) and know your numbers
- Check your blood pressure
- Ask about mammograms (I didn’t know they started at 40)
- Stay up to date on Pap smears
- Talk about changes in your body (fatigue, weight, mood, periods)
- Bring up your mental health (stress, burnout, anxiety counts too)
- Review your family history (any illness that has hit more than one family member)
- Ask what screenings you need now vs later (colon, bone density, etc.)
- Go over any supplements or meds you’re taking
- Ask your doctor “What should I be paying attention to at this age?”
Why It Matters to Take Care of Yourself
Let’s be honest, as much as we want to be superwoman to everyone, we can’t if we don’t pour into ourselves first.
As moms, daughters, and friends, we put ourselves last. We can’t continue to do this to ourselves because those same people who rely on us won’t be able to enjoy us if we are sick.
Anxiety can also build if the pain we feel doesn’t get addressed, which could be worse in the long run.
Your health affects your entire family, so it’s important to take care of yourself so you can have the energy and strength to take care of the people you love.
I am happy to say that I finally went and am typing this from my primary care physician’s office. I chose to go, and I am so proud of myself.
I went because I have to make sure I am in good health for my family.
I also want to make sure I am around to see my grandchildren, although that can wait a while.
Going to the doctor is scary, but your future self will thank you for protecting your vessel.
Do you have any fears of going to the doctors? What helps you get over those fears?
